He is in command of the team, he judges our work, he decides the workload: how can we get along with whoever commands us?
Thinking about it, having a good relationship with the boss is certainly not an easy task.
Beyond the character attitudes, his dominant role – and our submissive – already puts him in a bad light.
However, going on a collision course with the boss and forming a grumpy bond with him can be a big problem in the workplace.
First, because the boss is the one who decides our career: it is he who can make the request for a promotion, it is he who can speak well of us at the steering committee, it is he who can decide to leave us the scepter of a deputy on the days when he is absent.
Secondly, because the boss has a huge influence on the level of stress perceived in the office: the boss can make, with a single facial expression, the workplace exciting, serene, friendly or on the contrary terrifying.
Third, because undeniably we all spend more hours in the office than at home : working in a bad mood, struggling to please an indigestible person, makes everything more frustrating.
In short, whether we like it or not, we must strive to build a good relationship with the boss . And if the relationship is compromised, the task is to reverse gear and mend the tears. How? Jean-François Manzoni , professor of management at INSEAD, teaches us: here are the teacher’s tips for establishing a productive relationship with the boss.
Boss, we have a problem!
To solve a problem, the first step is to figure out where the node formed. If you feel the friction between you and the boss, try to understand where the barrier is hidden.
It could be an attitudinal predisposition of the boss, unfamiliar with smiles, or his way of living the role of manager. Or the problem could be you: if you notice that the boss gives you an unfriendly treatment, while he is always affable with others, ask yourself if you are working in line with his directives, if you have overlooked some important feedback he has given you or if you are performing poorly.
Don’t be afraid to look inside yourself with sincerity, without falling into excessive paranoia: be objective in self-assessment.
Get involved
If the responsibility for the “breakdown” is yours, the first move to repair must also be yours . Take courage and talk to the boss, openly declaring your mistake, showing that you understand where you went wrong and making sure you want to catch up.
Open up in the share the actions you intend to put into practice to get back on track and also ask for his help in advising you on the best route. In doing so, take into consideration the goal to be achieved, clarifying the boss’s expectations.
Once the goal has been set, respect it even if it seems irrational: the priorities for the boss – such as increasing the business on a customer or planning the strategy for next year – may be different from yours – such as closing an open project or disposing of the 100 unread emails in the inbox – but they must still be supported, because they reflect his world and the pressures to which the leader is subjected.
Seeing you aligned with his goals, willing and ready to react will bring out your empathic and proactive side: this is the first step to return to being worthy of your consideration.
With the basics settled, it’s time to start rebuild a positive relationship with the boss. Are you ready to go? In the second part of this article we will guide you on a constructive path to find empathy and mutual esteem. For now, you just have to wait … and practice Jean-François Manzoni’s first tips: you have a lot to think about!
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